There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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