Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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