I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
