im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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