Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
