Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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