I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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