At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
