bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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