well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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