I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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