I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize