i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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