my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
