Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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