where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
