It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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