I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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