God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
