You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
