Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
