Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
