bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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