ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?

  Fav 5 2085 1094

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!

  (269): View more from Michigan

  ...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...

  Fav 9 1150 2580

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (360): View more from Washington

  I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  That changes everything.

  Fav 27 5344 1090

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  i don't really know how much tequila is too much

  Fav 16 4711 1971

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

  Fav 4 3010 1926

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart

  Fav 21 5571 1274

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.

  Fav 3 681 1336

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.

  Fav 6 1921 1057

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates

  Fav 5 762 1411

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night

  Fav 4 985 812

  share tweet
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

  Fav 4 993 527

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (253): View more from Washington

  You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.

  Fav 1 673 446

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife

  Fav 2 294 198

  share tweet
  

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?

  Fav 4 603 155

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  ... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.

  Fav 1 163 62

  share tweet
  

Randomize