Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
