Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
