one might say we're banned from that church
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.