No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
