I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
