I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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