Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
