i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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