I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
