But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
