if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is classic penis vs brain.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
