Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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