Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
