How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
