I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
is it fun? or sober?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
