I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
