Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
