is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
