North Korea, Best Korea!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
