and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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