Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
