just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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