i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
