I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
