I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize