is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
