They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
