I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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