the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize