Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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