i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
