He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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