I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize