i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
