fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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