Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have feelings that need drinking.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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