Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
