oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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