Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
