my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
