So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
