Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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