don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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