I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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