Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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